


Forsaken

by Fighter1Day



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Harassment, Hurt/Comfort, Junkrat is a Man, M/M, Mental Abuse, Pregnancy, Pregnant!Junkrat, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Male Character, Trans!Junkrat, Transphobia, Unplanned Pregnancy, implied verbal abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7968244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighter1Day/pseuds/Fighter1Day
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamison can't stand to be left alone when Mako goes out on missions with the other heroes in Overwatch. He's forced to hide from the cruelty of those he is expected to trust. He begins to unravel when the harassment invades his psyche.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forsaken

**Author's Note:**

> This is a piece that I hope will shine a light on some of the damage done by black-and-white definitions. The focus is on Jamison's reaction to how the Overwatch heroes react to his pregnancy. As with larger society, both as a whole and the trans-community, it goes from a celebration to a tragedy. 
> 
> Dysphoria Warning: In case you didn't read all the tags: this story is about a pregnant transman. If your dysphoria is triggered by pregnancy or anything associated with it, please don't read this fic.

Jamie laid on the bathroom floor. He was hiding, or at least trying to. Hiding from those in Overwatch who instead of celebrating with Mako and himself, told him that they were uncomfortable with the “accident”. Hiding from the jokes about him needing to wear dresses and being reffered to as she. Hiding from himself as his thoughts adapted to these new attacks.

Tears streamed down his face as he curled around his stomach. He pressed his hand over the small bump there. This wasn’t a mistake or an accident. It couldn’t be, could it? Choking on sobs he laid there. Laid there alone because it was becoming his reality.

When they needed Mako for missions, his bodyguard kissed both of them goodbye and he was left to take care of himself. He had to go to the mess hall himself and eat alone in his room so nobody could glare at him. He had to stay in his room where nobody could laugh at him and mock his choice. He had to stay in the bathroom because he could’t get help from anyone with moving anywhere. He was left alone.

He was surprised about the sudden shift in how everybody acted towards him. Only a short while ago they were using his pronouns and helping him adjust the the enclosed base. They used to talk to him; Lucio and D. Va, “ _Hana right?_ ”, would teach him how to play the video games they liked. Mercy even offered to officialy start him on hormones, the kind you didn’t have to worry about killing you.

It was those damn hormones, the blood work he had to do to start with. Mercy called them in and said she needed to redo it. That some of the values for some hormones were way off target. It turns out they weren’t. It turns out he was just pregnant. At first they both had reacted like Mercy, in absolute shock. Mako had blamed himself for not being careful, had kissed him all over apologizing. Over the next week, he’d come to feel only excitement when Mako asked him about it. He wanted to have the baby, even when Mercy _suggested_ otherwise.

“ _Shoulda listened to her._ ” A scream was building in his throat as the voice in his head mocked him. As it repeated what others had said and torrmented him.

He laid there, letting out the screams as they became too much. The tears eventually stopped coming and he felt the exhaustion that quickly followed his sobbing. “ _Cry so much you must be a girl._ ” He shivered until his eyes finally closed tight and sleep took him.

His dreams were never any better. They weren’t even dreams anymore. It would start out good enough. Mako would be kissing him or holding him, smiling at their baby in the crib beside their bed. He’d tell the large man how much he loved him and there would come no response. He would be abandoned then, though sometimes Mako would just snap his neck, but most of the time Mako left, joined the others who spent the rest of the dream convincing him to kill himself. He always did. Kissed the tiny baby one last time and did it a different way, the only constants were that it was slow and agonizing.

Sometimes he had the good fortune of not dreaming at all. He could just sleep and he would be free of his senses. It was just him and the baby then. There was just this peace when he woke up and realized he’d been safe from thse words, those thoughts, for a few hours. It never took reality very long to come back though. He’d wake up and the voice would start before he’d even sat up in bed.

“Jamison?”

He blinked against the bright light as he was woken up. A booming sound came from the other side of the door and he curled in tight on himself. Adrenaline was dumped into his veins as he slid away from the door. A splintering sound cracked over the sound of the door being pounded on. He screamed when the jam broke and the door swung open into the wall. The knob forced through the drywall, punching a hole that kept it from swinging shut.

Tears slid down his face as he pressed his back against the wall. A litany of “no’s” and “pleases” poured from his lips as he screamed. He pressed his arms out as a giant shape descended on him. As it wrapped around him and pressed around him tight. It was warm as it held him. There were sounds coming out of it, low in his ear. It breathed, raspy and heavy breathes.

“Jamie, breathe for me.” A hand pressed to his back, stroking him. “You’re okay now. Nothing can hurt you when I’m around, remember?”

He shuddered and gapsed as he pressed into him, into Mako. As he pressed into the one person who cared about him enough to see him as he was. “Mako…”

“I know, just breathe. I’m so sorry I scared you,” gentle words rolled off his tongue as he craddled the smaller man. “I’m home now.”

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips when Mako said that. Because this wasn’t their home, it wasn’t his home. Mako was his home; he was the one entity that provided him shelter from the cruelties of the outside world. “Mako, please…” Tears, again, flowed freely down his cheeks as he wrapped his arm up and around the large mans neck. “Please don’ go anymore. I can’t… I jus—“

Mako frowned and shushed him. His brow furrowed as his charge shook in his arms, his sobs ringing loud in his ears. “I won’t.”

He wasn’t blind and he sure as hell wasn’t deaf. He’d tried to take good care of his boss, making up for how the members of Overwatch were treating him. It was clear to him now that they were inflicting damage that he couldn’t repair. That their words and their actions were taking their toll on the Junker soaking his harness in tears. He hummed against Jamie, trying to soothe what pain he could.

“Jamison?” The man sniffed and looked up at him. “I’m not going to leave you by yourself while we’re here; I’m not going to make that mistake again.” He pressed his forehead against his charges, feeling tears well in his eyes. “I’m so sorry I’ve done this to you. I never should have trusted these people to take care of you.”

“You didn’t do anything Mako.” Jamie pressed his chin up. “It’s them. They’re the ones who’re sayin’ Oi’m a girl. They don’ help me when they see Oi’m lost or about ta’ be sick. You haven’t tried tah give me a dress like that Brit.” Mako sat up straight. Even through his tears Jamie could see the danger in his eyes. “Mako, ya’ can’t do anything to ‘em.”

His muscles tensed as he looked away from the man curled up agaist him. He couldn’t just let this shit slide. Jamison had been through so much, his body and mind shattered by the harsh realities of the Outback. He shook his head, “You don’t have to be the bigger man Jamison. They are—“

A toothy grin grew on the thinner Junkers face. “That’s jus’ it, mate. They don’ see me as bigger anything, let alone a man.” He pressed his face against the broad expanse of Mako’s chest. “They think Oi’m jus’ going ta run to you. They think that Oi’m weak and helpless… they’ve never met a lady from Junkertown, but ya’ know what Oi mean roight?

“If we don’t react like they want us to, then maybe they’ll realize they’re the sick ones. They’ll stop and think about how we’re being tha bigger men.” His arm slid from its hold over Mako’s shoulder, moving to caress the hard line of his jaw. Jamie looked up at him, his face still bright red. “If we be on our bes’ behavior, maybe they can understand. Maybe they’ll learn that jus’ cause Oi’m pregnant doesn’t make me any less a man than you are.”

He grunted in response, “Fine, but you have to tell me if they do something to you…anything at all.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am aware, as a trans man, that a pregnant trans character is hardly a celebrated idea inside of and outside of the community. A lot of people have dysphoria and are uncomfortable about the idea, which I totally understand.
> 
> I do not want to fetishize pregnancy; and I will stop if I find there is a problem with people doing that based on my work. I am only trying to celebrate what I've been so afraid of my whole life, wanting so desperately to transition and be accepted by the community that I was willing to deny myself something I want in the future.
> 
> As always, with any other, please respect both me and my work if you chose to comment or critique.  
> Thank you.


End file.
